psychologically evaluated!

i was kidding. of course i'm not gonna tell you how stool sample are collected! take a container, and your imagination, next time you have to go, and figure it out yourself.

the best part (or was it the worst?) of the 1st aeromedical, was the psychiatric evaluation and test. the test took us one whole day. we spent the morning answering 500 questions, and the afternoon, another 500 questions. all 1000 questions were to be answered with the options of 'true/false' or 'yes/no'. by the end of the day, i had no idea what was true or what was false anymore. this test is used to evaluate the mindset of the candidates and the mental condition, of course. basically, the results say if you're sane or insane, or if you're leaning a little towards the insane side of yourself or if you should be locked up immediately. and the trick is to be honest. they were basically questions of what would you do in a certain situation, or your feelings on certain issues. i cant possibly remember every question, but i do remember the few that struck me. one was, 'do you think you can fly?' gets you thinking, doesnt it? you would agree that was simple, the answer is no, of course, with a smirk and the song 'i believe i can fly' on my lips! another was, 'do you think men cheat?' you dont have to think to answer that one! the humor of it was, later while discussing with everyone, apparently, all the men asnwered 'yes' as well! go figure! at least, everyone was being honest, you have to give them that! one other question was, 'do you have trouble swallowing?' it would have been a little easier if they would have specified what exactly are we swallowing. but, we figured it out after the test when, one of the candidates, a certain Major, one of the most calibred and most fun to hang out with, suddenly asked me in front of all the other guys, 'vanajah, do you have trouble swallowing?' with a wink! naturally, everyone in the room burst out laughing! people like the Major and the laughters in between the stress that we had, are the things i remember the most out of that week, now.

the psychiatric evaluation was another ball game altogether! i only wish it was as simple as the test! there were, not one but, two of them. it was a personal session, but not the regular i-pay-by-the-hour-and-pour-out-my-troubles-from-a-couch type of session. it was almost a torture session, at least it was for me. their mission was to bring out the worst in you, psychologically! and evaluate your reaction.
from the beginning, i made my lifestyle very clear to everyone. i had nothing to hide about my life, especially for this program. i had no trouble with that because i've always been very open about my lifestyle with anyone i meet. and the first and foremost, and ongoing thru out the program, warning from dr. zul was 'be yourself! if you try to be something you're not, we will find out, and you're out of here!' who could pretend after a warning like that. and i could not be pretentious even if my life depended on it. based on my lifestyle, i was attacked the most by the doctors. i could handle that fine because i've had a lot of practice defending my lifestyle to people. almost everyone i've come across in my life had disagreed with my beliefs or way of life.
but when they started prying about my family, that's when they got me. i grew up with my grandparents till i turned 20, and then went to live with my parents for a couple of years before i left home to university. my grandparents are almost my parents. till today, i still address them as ma and pa. at home, when both my mom and grandma are around and i call out, both of them will answer. the part that got my hands shaking and eyes tearing was when the doctor handed me a piece of paper and pen, and told me to list down how much i love each of them, in percentage! i was outraged and torn inside! and at the same time had to force a polite smile the whole time only not to break down in front of the doctors. till that moment, i had no idea how much the sharing of my love among these 4 most important people in my life had affected me emotionally. did i grow up trying to prove my love to my parents who thought they had to compete with my grandparents? or trying to convince my grandparents they're no less than my parents? maybe i did. but it has never been as clear as it was on that day. i took the pen and hurriedly wrote, so that they wont notice my hand shaking, 25%, 25%, 25%, 25%!

that day, i came out from the room after the session, somehow, feeling a little lighter. it must have been the so accurately calculated 25% ...