and i ran ...

i ve told you i passed my physical test, now let me tell you everything i went thru to pass.
i get a mail from angkasa about the physical test exactly a month before the actual date of test, 3rd sept 2005. i listed myself under subang for location. the run was held in 4 different states in malaysia, including kuching. i had a month to ensure i could pass the test. first of all, how fast do i have to run to complete 3.5 kms under 20 minutes? i jogged everyday for about 6 months at one time. the problem with me is, actually its a weakness of mine, i get bored easy! no matter what it is, i cant do the same stuff for long. at interviews, i actually tell the interviewer exactly this when they ask me to state my weaknesses. the same goes for exercise routines. whatever routine, i get bored of it! i want excitement, fun and drive in whatever i have to do. six months is all i could do with jogging about 4 kms everyday after work, around my apartment blocks. back in 1999, while working in kulim at showa aluminum, i used to work out in my room for an hour after work, every single day for 3 years. nothing strenous, i used a heavy porcelain dog as weights, 400 jumps with jack and 200 sit-ups. i hate running, but after i started my jog routine, it has become addictive. i would feel lousy and uneasy of i dont jog for a day. kumar and johnny, colleagues from teknion, who lived at the same apartment block used to laugh at me when i jog in the rain! in front of everybody at our office cafetaria! didnt bother me, because as far as i am concerned, if i had to jog, i had to jog! in order to achieve my timing, i zero-ed my speedometer in my satria and drove it one full round of my apartment blocks, my exact jog route. and the meter showed 0.6 kms. and we all know speedometers are not that accurate, but i had to go with it. so, i ran six rounds and timed myself. the first day, i ran as fast as i could and i finished 6 rounds, approximately 3.6 kms in 24 minutes! and i told myself, no way i could pass this test! everyday after work i ran six rounds for almost a month and the best time i made was 20 minutes! of all my days in that 1 long year of the selection, i have to say that 1 month was the most worrisome time! i couldnt sleep at nights thinking about it. this is where mohan comes in. at this point i have to mention mohan, in another paragraph, of course.

mohan is the guy who's been there for me and with me for ten years now, always there with his undying love and support. since august 1996 till this day, and more to come, he's seen me thru my ups and downs, thick and thin, laughter and tears, joy and grief, my best and worst moods and days. everyone who knows me knows him. and my family adores him, most of all, my grandma! it aint a very long paragraph, but i guess i've said what he is to me.

so, mohan got tired of me worrying everyday about how fast, or slow, i was progressing. we go out and get ourselves a cheap stop-watch, and he comes downstairs and stands around at the parking lot and time my every round! and a couple of days before 3rd sept, and i wonder why we didnt think of this before, we drive to the stadium in klang town which has a 400-meter track and train there. and one day before the run, my time was 19 minutes and 15 seconds! there was nothing more i could do but go to bed that night hoping tomorrow would go well! the part that bothered me the most was the thought, if i couldnt pass a simple physical test, how did i have the cheek to enrol myself in a race to become an astronaut! darn disturbing thought, wouldnt you say!

the day arrives! the registration starts at 5 am, so, i rise from bed before 4am, get ready and drive to subang air force base. of course, mohan went with me. that day, he stood at the parking lot and waited for 4 hours until the whole ordeal was over!
there were so many people that morning! despite many tables and staffs registering everyone, passing out numbers, t-shirts and caps, answering everyone's various questions, the process took more than 2 hours. at last when i thought it was about to start, they tell us to walk to the start point, which was like a good 10 minutes walk from the registration spot. i walked alone, had to leave mohan behind, along with many others, some chatting away, some quiet. i dont believe people are so friendly so darn early in the morning on a day we're about to run to proof ourselves! dont get me wrong, i am all for friendliness, but i am never a morning-person and i was carrying too much stress that morning to make small talks! all i wanted at that point was for the run to be over! after we reach the small stadium where the start point is, we were asked to spread out on the field, and then they bring out the dj!! it was the most frustrating moment! i mean, the dj was a very good touch, i give you that, but as i said, i was under stress and nothing looked good to me at that point! the dj was good though and he went on and on trying to cheer everyone up and lighten the mood and make it enjoyable by going around and asking anyone he could get or eager enough to talk to him, why did they wanna become an astronaut! i hid from him the best i could! by the time they brought out the staffs to start the warm-up workouts, the sun was out! finally, thank heavens, they get us out of the stadium and showed us the start line, and it was almost 8am! they had the gals in front and men above 40 behind the gals and then the rest. it was a narrow path, so we had to make long lines. finally, the gun goes off, and off we go! i realised how tired i was the minute i started running. the next thing that happened was the able-bodied men who were lined behind us were all banging onto me left and right trying to speed up!! i was pissed off at this point! for heavens sake people, i wasnt slow, i had a pace to follow! its three and a half kms, you know! not a 100-metres dash! i ignored everyone and i ran. the further i ran, the more people were falling behind. and to my surprise, some of them stopped after 200 metres and started to walk! as i said, i ignored everyone else and concentrated on my pace and breathing. and as if it wasnt hard enough, the route actually had slopes! upward! i looked at my cheap stop-watch and kept at my pace. it was getting harder by the minute to run, with all the excitement and a time to keep. and then i hear the irritating voice of the dj screaming, here we have our winner, the astronaut! someone had actually finished, and i could see the finish line, from a distance! i curse under my breath with whatever strength i could muster at that point and picked up my speed. i ran, panting by then, passing a few people thinking i could do this, i have to! before i reach the end of the route, i hear the dj shouting, where are the women? i need a gal here at the finish line, c'mon gals! and i ran up the slope to the finish point while tumbling into a few people in front of me who had to stop at the finish point to collect a small numbered piece of paper indicating we've finished on time. and i get my piece of blue paper that says 59 and i was done! i stop, catch my breath and think, oh my god, i did it! and the next thing i did was almost walk away to find mohan. i didnt catch the time when i finished but i think it was 18 minutes plus. i felt so good at that point, as all the tension eased out of me. then those who finished on time went over to a table and reported for the record. after we waited out for everyone to finish, we were all asked to sit in the stadium and were given breakfast, fried noodle and hot tea. i drank the tea, no thanks to the fried noodle! couple of the officials came out and called out each of the numbers and gave us a piece of paper containing a map on directions to hospital serdang, which was where we were supposed to be at 2pm that afternoon for a basic medical exam. we also did some warm-down workouts, before the fried noodle, of course. in the middle of the warm-down, the dj suddenly calls out for number 1500, please come forward. that was my angkasawan number, 1500, and it came a long way with me after that day. when i stepped up to the dj, he told me i was requested to step outside to meet a reporter. i did, and few of them, plus photographers came up to me for an interview. apparently, i was the first woman to finish! of course, i didnt knew that till they told me. i answered their questions, posed for a couple of photos, thinking how awful i looked at that point and went back inside. finally, they announced we were done, and i walked back to where mohan was waiting. it was almost 10am. when i ran up to mohan and told him i did it, i passed, he smiled and said, i know you would.

that afternoon was another story altogether ...