the mail comes

after TWO years, one fine day at office in teknion, i receive a mail from angkasa. being too caught up with getting some quality issue solved for a particularly fussy customer, i glance thru the mail and go on with my chores. i must have thought it was another mail from angkasa wanting me to verify some info in the registration form. after maybe 2 or 3 days, i casually sit down and read thru the mail, and found out that it was a request to attend a physical test!! i was shortlisted for the space program which i registered for 2 years ago! my first reaction was to shout out to kamahraj, asking if he has received anything similar. and he says no. he's the first person to hear about this piece of news. and get this, the physical test is to run (oh, no, did they say run?) 3.5 kms (as if running 3.5 kms is not enough) under 20 minutes! first time i was thankful for all the jogs i went for!

here, i need to go back a little in my life to write about my paranoia and how it began. i was skinny and fine during most of my teenage life. i pass my spm, and i go to a co-ed school, from st anne's convent to sek men badlishah, all these memorable places are still located in a small town called kelang lama in kulim. do not ask me what it was, it might be too personal to mention here, that made me go from skinny to 'gundek'! yep, that was my nickname at the age of 19! its a cruel world out there! let me enlighten you, gundek is very crude tamil for fatty! oh, how you wish i would post some picture of me to show what gundek means here! oh, ya, you wish! and the older i grew, the bigger i got. i stood tall among my friends, not the tallest, but definitely tall and plus the fatty tissues, it wasnt a pretty sight, the bulges at mid-abdomen seen clearly in that white top and white skirt they made us wear all thru out form 6! ugh! but my personality never wavered, so i still got invitations to become someone's girlfriend! i was friendly, that was all. i wasnt slutty nor sexy, never knew how to be neither, back then and now! one of my many curses. but i was always friendly, to anyone and everyone. back then, i was out of any school teams, therefore had no exercise whatsoever. and then stpm results gets out and my life was downhill from there. not being able to get into a varsity with 3 principles, my dad comes in to rescue. he gets me out of kulim and my grandma's house, and puts me with him and my mom in penang. i grew up with grandparents and aunts, and had all the freedom. not to mention a little bit spoilt, being the first grand daughter and niece and all. my dad was very strict on me back then and we didnt have a good relationship. we had lots of fights in that one year i lived with him trying to get thru another year of stpm. but i thank him for every fight we had then, for it had shaped me for the future. and then i pass my stpm at han chiang high school in penang in year 1991. then comes the happiest day of my dad's life, i get accepted to university of malaya in 1992 intake, for a bachelor of science degree course. my dad packs my bag, drives me to um and leaves me at the entrance of third college of um. and before leaving he says to me, i have brought you to this place, now its up to you to make something out of your life. i will always remember that moment! the reason i stayed fat is all we did in campus was eat and sleep. oh yes, of course, and go for classes. at the end of my studies, i stood at 65 kgs on the weighing scale. upon leaving campus and finding a job, i met this wonderful guy, mahesh, who helps me by teaching me ways to lose weight and stay fit. for which i am forever thankful, mahesh! the diet was two slices of bread with polyunsaturated margarine and a cup of milo-o for breakfast, an apple and soya milk for lunch and again, two slices of bread with polyunsaturated margarine and milo-o for dinner. plus, an hour of exercise every evening, sit-ups, jumping jacks, stretching and 15-minutes jog. and that, ladies, is how i went from 65 kgs to 58 kgs in couple of months. kids, please do not try this diet without the consent of an adult. and this diet could only be followed for a month, the most, at one time. upon losing all that weight, i was obsessed! my paranoia begins. and i weigh 53 kgs now, but still paranoid. my friends tell me i have issues! since that day, i have not stopped working our or watching what i eat.

thus ends the story of how i could possibly make that run of 3.5 kms under 20 minutes and pass my physical test!